The Best Vacation Ever

Our granddaughter, Reagan, is an adorable bundle of joy filled with sugar and vinegar. Any time that we spend with her is rewarded ten-fold. Just seeing life through the eyes of a child reminds me that mundane things can be fascinating, the world is beautiful, and everything can be new by simply changing your perspective.

Last week we took our first family vacation together. Other attempts had been cancelled by two plus years of COVID, quarantines, masks, and travel limitations so this was a special time for all of us. We chose the beach on Amelia Island in Florida as a destination hoping for fun and relaxation. We even took the dog along to make sure that the family adventure included everyone.

I’ll never forget her first impression as we walked into the beachfront condo. She ran to the window and exclaimed with nothing short of glee that the ocean was beautiful. All of us agreed but hearing her joy changed my impression of the view from simply pleased that it was as advertised to one of total delight. To make a child so happy just by looking out of a window reminded me that families are the source of endless pleasure and that I was blessed beyond belief to spend time with her, my husband, my son, and my daughter-in-law. The week was filled with swimming and finding shells and seeing dolphins during an evening cruise on the Amelia River. We visited dear friends, went to the zoo in 100-degree weather (what were we thinking?), and tried, or at least considered trying, new foods. Perhaps the pinnacle of Reagan’s week was finding a cool toy shop in town. All of these adventures caused her to proclaim, “This is the best bacation ever!”

And since my husband was along, we also looked for the best local donut which turned out not to be a donut at all but something much more exotic, a Kouign-Amann (Kouign is pronounced queen), which we found at a local independent bakery, Nana Teresa’s Bake Shop on 3rd Street in downtown Fernandina Beach, Florida. This pastry is native to the Brittany region in France, and it blends croissants, butter, and sugar into a caramelized, crunchy treat. What a find for him! They make them mainly on the weekends and this shop included a wonderful variation with fruit or cream cheese in the center. Not sure if that is an authentic French variation but certainly it is a delicious addition to an already perfect pastry. If you are in town, it’s worth a visit to this excellent bakery. And, it was definitely something that met my husband’s criteria for a successful trip…finding a new pastry shop. Having special goals when you travel always makes the trip more fun.

Looking through Reagan’s eyes, I remembered all of my travels and adventures as a child and, later, as a parent. What was my best vacation ever? Did my parents feel the same joy and gratitude as I did on vacations with my son and do now with my granddaughter?

Thinking back, some of the memories are so vivid it seems that only a few years have passed since those days. I remember little details like where and what we ate, the long boring car rides to remote destinations, and other trivial moments, compounded by the bigger details that one most often associates with best vacations such as amazing vistas, new places, and the unique experiences. What makes these big and little memories so enduring, so bright? Just like Reagan was gleeful upon seeing the ocean from our window and finding a great toy store or like Paul will remember how the pastries tasted, this time I’ll remember the joy that I felt seeing them both happily taking pleasure in a sight, a taste, or a new experience.

Yes, vacations (or bacations as Reagan calls them) are the best. Looking back, all of my vacations were the best, especially the little things that later fill my memories. Sure, none of them were perfect but there were perfect moments in all of them. So, here’s to many more!

Retirement Week 1: What Did I Learn?

1. It’s hard to sleep in.

Years and years of waking early isn’t a habit that goes away easily. As I launched into my new life, I planned to sleep in until at least 6 AM but no one told my internal clock. Over the years, I learned that secret time was available to me in the wee hours of the morning before the hustle and bustle of the day took over. When my son was young, it was our time. He, too, has always been an early morning riser. After he got older, I kept the time for me to read, chill, and sip on coffee for a while. For the past several years, I’ve taken to riding my bike in the pre-dawn hours…always cooler, no traffic, and a wonderful feeling of solitude watching the moon set and the coloring of clouds in the east with the glorious shades of morning. I’d come back refreshed and wide awake in time to read, chill, and sip on coffee for a while. Why would I give that up?

Conclusion: No need to start sleeping in now.

2. 4-year-olds are a lot of work.

Assignment number 1: Babysit granddaughter for one week while Mom and Dad are finishing work. As always, a fun and exhausting job. Time to answer big questions like, “Why?” and “When do Mommy and Daddy get home?” not once but what seemed like hundreds of times. Time to hone up on negotiating skills. “We can have candy after we eat our lunch.” “Won’t you please eat one chicken nugget?” “You can have one piece of candy but then you have to eat a chicken nugget.” Lost most of the negotiations. I wouldn’t have lasted long at work with such a dismal success rate but when you are a grandma, it's easier to see which battles are worth having. Mom and Dad can deal with nutrition later.

Conclusion: Choose your battles.

3. I was addicted to answering my cell phone.

For the 40-plus years that I spent in the workforce and for most of the years before that when I was a student and worked in our family business, almost every hour of my day was committed to work. There was always a schedule, a list of things to do, obligations…even in those rare free times when I found myself on vacation or with a few days free on the weekend. Even then, the looming responsibilities of work called out to me from the future. “Enjoy your vacation…you’ve got work to do when you get back.”

As the world moved into the electronic age with cell phones and texts and constant access, I never left the work world behind. At first, I marveled at the prospect of improved electronic accessibility since my life as a physician required constant access. Before cell phones (yes, there was a time before cell phones), I had to keep a pile of quarters and dimes available and look for pay phones all over the city in case my pager went off. That first cell phone weighed several pounds and only held a charge for a few hours, but it was a godsend. Cell phones evolved, people quit talking and began texting, and e mailing and electronic communication flourished.

I found myself always on call, always checking my e mails, always answering something “just for a minute” day and night. The days seemed exceptionally long with my e mails always tempting me, entreating me. Work was never far away. The world could not go on spinning unless I looked at my cell phone. This has been the plague of modern work life and I had been helpless to escape.

Until I did. I was surprised how fast it happened. No more patients depended upon me. Suddenly, there was nothing in my e mails that needed immediate attention. No boss was going to send me a text at 5 in the morning that needed an answer before 6. I wasn’t going to be late for anything that day. I haven’t let go completely but I’m getting there.

Conclusion: The world keeps on spinning without you.

Why Donuts?

My husband, Paul, has a favorite expression, "Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.”

I've known about his sweet tooth for more than 45 years, but I didn't think about it seriously until a few years ago when I noticed that, before each trip we took, he prepared by searching the internet to find donut shops and bakeries at our upcoming destination.

In the beginning, he’d make sure that there was at least one donut shop in the vicinity that we knew about before our arrival. But soon, due to the power of the internet, he found that he could expand his search to all of the donut shops and bakeries in the area. Then, in preparation for the trip, he started ranking the local donut shops by reading customer reviews, perusing menus on-line, and looking at photo galleries for those mouthwatering pictures of overflowing donut cases. In this way, he could create a prioritized list of potential donut stops and allocate his time appropriately upon arrival. If we were in town for only one day for example, we needed to make sure that we were able to visit the very best donut shop in the area.

But it didn’t end there. His list always included other specialty pastries for that region and where they might be found just to make sure we didn’t miss a delectable treat like a malasada or a beignet or even a guava cheese pastry.

Eventually, he began adding donut shops and bakeries along the route to our final destination to his search. He was, therefore, able to map out our journey based on the maximum number of donut targets of opportunity. He might even drive a little out of the way if there was a good donut place somewhere between us and our destination.

This is more than just a quest for the best donut shop, though. He searches with a specific donut in mind…the often-elusive maple donut. For Paul, the perfect donut is a yeast donut with a plentiful and flavorful authentic maple frosting. But it needs to have other qualities, too. It needs to be light and airy, always fresh...even warm from the fryer, priced right, and never adorned with sprinkles or bacon or another such “contaminant” that interferes with the simple beauty of a perfect maple frosted donut. If good coffee is served, so much the better.

This, his obsession, has become an integral part of our travels. And, when combined with visiting family or friends, sightseeing, or enjoying the local attractions, donuts have become essential elements of the perfect vacation.

Mind you, I’m not a donut fan but I am a fan of watching someone discover something that brings them so much joy. And I am a big advocate of finding a way to incorporate passion and purpose into life.

Whether it’s visiting family or collecting something or checking off a list of every state or Bucket Lists or maple donuts, this site is dedicated to bringing happiness and passion into your life through stories and smiles.

By the way, the picture is one of Paul enjoying the perfect maple donut with an excellent cup of coffee at one of the premier donut shops in the country, Top Pot Doughnuts and Coffee in Seattle, Washington. The weather was cool and pleasant. We found a parking place right away. It wasn’t too hard to find the shop, and the line wasn’t too long. And those bookshelves in the background were a huge additional bonus. It was a perfect day.

Thanks for starting this journey with me.